Are you in a relationship with someone who is excessively jealous? Maybe when you first got together the jealousy looked like your lover was really into you. Later it began to be a drain on your energy. What seemed like passion at first has become a constant battle. Maybe your partner told you that s/he had been cheated on by a previous lover. You figure it would make sense to feel insecure about someone new.
Eventually, this behavior takes such a toll on you that you may be looking for a way out. The jealous lover creates a self-fulfilling prophesy. Not that you intend to cheat or have ever cheated on your partner. But you may be losing the love that you once felt.
Jealousy is often the result of insecurity. Take a look at this checklist and see whether you are dealing with an insecure partner:
- Checks my phone to see who I called
- Goes through my purse or wallet to look for evidence that I’m cheating
- Asks me who I need to smell good for when I wear cologne or perfume
- Doesn’t want me to wear certain clothing
- Watches me like a hawk in social gatherings
- Always wants to do things with me and doesn’t trust me to go out with my friends or colleagues
- Accuses me of flirting
- Accuses me of cheating
- Follows me when I leave the house
- Checks the mileage of my car
- Times me from the office to the house
- I spend way too much time defending and explaining my behavior
- I’m constantly trying to calm and reassure my partner
Keep in mind that if you are in a relationship with a jealous person and you’ve done nothing to create those feelings of jealousy (you haven’t cheated, flirted outrageously, or done any dishonorable behavior) you may be dealing with an extremely insecure person. What happened in your partner’s past is not your fault, but will remain your problem as long as you are together.
If you are willing to work with your insecure partner to create a calmer and more secure relationship, for both your sakes, it is possible to do, although it will take some time and energy. The first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. My next article will address some ways you can accomplish this.
Meanwhile, you can bring back the magical spark to your relationship and fall in love all over again. Learn to co-create passion that lasts a lifetime with True Love Relationship Coaching calls for couples. http://trueloverelationshipcoaching.com.