True Love Relationship Coaching

I am creating a new niche, specializing in widowhood with an emphasis of love after loss.

Losing a beloved spouse is a hard and lonely place to be in. Losing a spouse from whom you were estranged can be even harder.  Losing a spouse and the aftermath of pain comes in many different forms, some of which are listed below:

• Death after a long, terminal illness
• Unexpected death
• Death of your soul mate
• Death after an unresolved, possibly heated argument
• Finding out about an affair after the death of a spouse
• Learning that your spouse had hidden debt
• Having small children to care for without the proper means (no life insurance, no significant savings)

Each experience of widowhood is unique and yet there are definite similarities. You experience your own version of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression and
• Acceptance

Even if you had a wonderful relationship, you still experience guilt, such as thinking that if only you had done something differently, you could have prevented his/her death. Or if only you hadn’t argued so much, you could heal from the pain easier.

If you were relatively young when you were widowed, you may want to find love again.  You may feel guilty about your desire to find another life partner. You may feel like you are betraying the memory of your late spouse or even cheating on your late spouse if you even think about finding love again. Yet, you are a human being with a profound sense of loneliness.

What can you do as a grieving widow or widower to ease the pain and begin the process of learning to love again?

First of all, give yourself permission to feel all right with the idea that you can find love again. If you are not connected with a support group or a therapist or coach to help you through the grief journey, seek one that is right for you.  Also, there are many excellent books on widowhood. Here are a few:

• Widowed by Dr. Joyce Brothers
• Being a Widow by Lynn Caine
• I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can by Linda Feinberg
• The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman
• Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Your Husband or Wife Dies by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD

Secondly, if you are in the habit of talking to your late spouse, either through journaling, using a voice recorder, talking to her/his picture, visiting the burial site, or any other way, talk about the idea of finding love again. While you’re at it, talk with trusted friends and family about the prospect of you finding love again. Beginning this dialog is a great step toward giving yourself permission to love again.

I would love to interview you about your experience of widowhood. You can contact me by email at michelle@trueloverelationshipcoaching.com to set up a time for us to talk.