True Love Relationship Coaching

What if you were suddenly alone?

You may not know this, but I am creating a new focus. I am shifting from working with couples (and single women over 40) and narrowing my focus to widows and widowers who want to find love again after loss. As I transition into this new niche, I want to tell you something I read recently, because it applies to people in relationships.

I opened the book Widowed by Dr. Joyce Brothers and read about a client she was working with. The married woman was complaining to Dr. Brothers that her husband was so dull and boring that she was fantasizing about leaving him or having an affair. She was so focused on how life would be better if he were no longer in her life that Dr. Brothers created an exercise to help the woman.

She called it “The Widow Game.” She asked the woman to imagine that from that moment forward she was a widow, completely alone and no longer able to depend on her husband for anything ever again. Her task was to spend a week doing everything for herself that her husband would usually do, like taking out the garbage, changing light bulbs, fixing things that were broken, making the calls to the mechanic, etc.

She told her that she was to imagine that he would never lie beside her at night, that he would never compliment her or comfort her, never share with her how his day was or listen to her as she talked about her thoughts and feelings ever again.

Dr. Brothers also admonished the woman not to delude herself into thinking that if only her husband weren’t there, she would be able to find someone more attractive, sexier, and more charming than him. She reminded her of the odds of her finding someone better and that even if she did, chances were that she wouldn’t find a better husband than the one she was so bored with.

The woman played the widow game for the next week and in the end, she was able to find appreciation and gratitude for her husband. It is my sincere hope that if you are struggling with similar thoughts, you will play this game and find that so many of the things you believe are wrong with your marriage and your spouse are easy to overcome. Often, when you focus on the false premise of “the grass is greener on the other side” you forget the wonderful qualities of the one you chose to marry.

Please share this post with those you know who may need this message. My new site, From Loss to Love Again is in the construction stage, but you can see it here. Also, I welcome your comments!

I appreciate you! Michelle