Author Archive
From the desk of Michelle E. Vásquez
September 2nd, 2010 | 
Author: What’s New?
Do you have what it takes to create a successful marriage? Emotional
maturity is something some folks never accomplish, no matter how many
years they live. I propose that immaturity, self-centered behavior, and
the desire for instant gratification are three reasons why marriages
fail. All of these behaviors combined with the attitude of “if it does
not work out, we will just go our separate ways” contribute to a high
divorce rate.
What is emotional immaturity? Some people live by
the maxim, “I may grow old, but I refuse to grow up.” This may be
humorous when seen on a T-shirt, but when people take this attitude into
their marriages, they are setting themselves and their relationship up
for misery. This does not mean that you have to be serious all the time;
far from it. It just means that you cannot allow your emotions to rule
you and to affect how you behave toward your spouse.
Self-centered behavior is not the same as taking care of yourself.
You must take care of yourself if you are going to be fully present for
your loved ones. No, being self-centered or selfish is all about the “me
first” attitude. “My needs are more important than yours” is the rally
cry of the self-centered person. A self-centered person tends to
criticize and blame rather than looking at her/his own behavior. A
self-centered person sees nothing wrong with manipulating her spouse to
get her way. A self-centered person thinks nothing of putting his family
in danger by drinking and driving.
What about instant gratification? Since the advent
of fast food, we seem to have become more of an instant gratification
society. “I want it in 30 seconds and I want it hot and tasty and
inexpensive.” For some people, if everything is not perfect and to their
liking, they tend to resort to complaints about their marriage. They
think of their marriage like fast food instead of fine dining. It
becomes a disposable commodity instead of something to be treasured and
enjoyed.
Marriage requires maintenance to make it successful. It will require
extra work if you are engaging in these damaging behaviors. The good
news is that you, too, can create a happier marriage if you are willing
to begin with yourself. Are you willing to put in the time and energy to
help your marriage become a strong one? If so, you can do it. You do
not have to do it alone; relationship coaching can help.
Have you gotten your e-book/audio?
Ten Secrets for Creating the Marriage of Your Dreams.
Three Relationship Killers
Happy marriage don't just "magically appear." You can, however, create them.
Do you have what it takes to create a successful marriage? Emotional maturity is something some folks never accomplish, no matter how many years they live. I propose that immaturity, self-centered behavior, and the desire for instant gratification are three reasons why Read the rest of this entry »
Ask Michelle Anything
Ask me that burning relationship question!
Ask Michelle Anything is a free webinar that repeats every week. During these webinars, you can write or call in to ask me anything about relationships.
- Wondering how to find the lost passion in your marriage?
- Thinking you are too ________ (fill in the Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Relationships, dating | 
Tags: all the good ones are taken, ask michelle anything, finding love after divorce, finding love after loss, free relationship webinar, help your marriage, marriage maintenance, relationship webinar, save my marriage, webinar about dating, webinar about marriage | 
No Comments »
From the Desk of Michelle E. Vásquez
Hi!
I hope you’ve had a pleasant week. Here’s to an exciting or relaxing weekend, whatever works best for you! Do you know someone who could benefit from relationship coaching? If so, please forward this message to them and let them know about the free Get Acquainted session they are welcome to sign up for. Thanks!
What I’m excited about this week!
Over the years my clients have told me repeatedly that I should write a book. My late husband, Al, said I had to write a book. My friends have encouraged me to write a book. So, I’ve begun my writing process with an audio book about marriage. It’s not a big book, but it is a book. An e-book, to be specific, along with an audio. I’ve been working on this audio book all week so I could tell you about it today! It’s called
Making a Happier Marriage Today:
Ten Secrets for Creating the Marriage of Your Dreams.
I’m offering it, along with the e-book, at an incredibly affordable price. Click here to learn more.
What’s New?
I’ve been working on my audio project, getting my late husband’s Toastmaster speeches together so that I can record them. I don’t want his words of wisdom, hope, and inspiration to remain sitting in my computer. I believe the world needs Al Vásquez’s message and I intend to bring it out, dust it off, and offer that message to you very soon. I wrote about it recently and asked for your comments. I did get some wonderful feedback, which I really appreciate. That post is here.
Last Friday I celebrated Al’s memory and life with my new husband, Javier and you an read the blog post here.
Upcoming events:
Free webinars are always recorded, so if you’re signed up and cannot attend you can listen at your leisure as I will send you the replay, but only if you sign up!
Weekly webinar where you can pick my brains about any relationship question you can think of.
Ask Michelle Anything…about dating while shy. Saturday, August 28 9:00am pacific/noon eastern If you are not signed up already for this free weekly webinar about all things relationships, sign up here.
Monthly webinar with Rev. Elaine Torrance-Gingrich
This month’s topic:
Life after Loss…to date or not to date. Tuesday, August 31 5:00pm pacific/8:00pm eastern
If you’re not yet signed up for this fun and informative monthly webinar, Sign up here.
On Tuesday, September 7 I have a special guest, Kristine Castro. She will be giving us a Conversational Tour of her Everlasting Honeymoon Program. If you are signed up to receive notices about the Ask Michelle Anything webinars, you don’t need to do a thing; I’ll remind you. If not, sign up here.
I appreciate you, Michelle
From the desk of Michelle E. Vásquez
I’m doing something new and you get to be the first to see it. That is, unless you are receiving this message as a plain text email. If what you see looks like a page of my web site, then you are seeing the newthing I’m up to today. Read the rest of this entry »My late husband’s musings on marriage
On the subject of marriage:
You and I are like two little kids walking down the same road. We choose to keep the same pace so that we remain side by side. We like each other’s company and, besides, walking side-by-side has the added benefit that when either one of us trips, the other is there to help. Isn’t that the whole point?
Adalberto Vásquez, 1945-2007
Interview on Voice America
What a friendly goat! This picture has nothing to do with the interview; I just like it!
Today Iuliana Lixandru interviewed me on Voice America. Here is a link to the interview. She asked me questions about relationships, singles, widows finding love after loss, limiting beliefs that keep people single.
We talked about Choice Theory, which is something that I love to teach my clients, Read the rest of this entry »
Silent treatment and grudges
Are precious moments of your life being wasted by a loved one who holds grudges and gives you the silent treatment? Are you subjected to regular intervals of this type of punishing behavior from your loved one? Rest assured that you are not Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Relationships |
Tags: control, grudge-holding silent treatment, Michelle Enis Vasquez, punishing behavior, silent treatment |
1 Comment »
Girlfriend has Man trouble
If you have one or more girlfriends you spend time with, chances are, you talk about your relationships when you get together. It is wonderful to have someone with whom you can share your joys and troubles. If you have a girlfriend who is in a particularly difficult relationship, you may feel sorry for her, exasperated by her behavior, and even want to give her significant other a piece of your mind at times.
Before you jump on the bandwagon to support her story without reservations, remember there Read the rest of this entry »
Finding Love after Loss
If you live in Orange County, I will be holding a live event on August 12. To sign up and get more details click here.
How do you know when you are ready to find love again after loss? If you have been widowed, survived a painful divorce or break up, or lost someone dear to you by other means, you may still be grieving, but also feeling very lonely. How can you make a clear-headed decision about finding love again when you are in this state?
In this informative meeting, you will receive lots of great content to help you prepare to love again! Read the rest of this entry »