True Love Relationship Coaching

Do you have what it takes to create a successful marriage? Emotional
maturity is something some folks never accomplish, no matter how many
years they live. I propose that immaturity, self-centered behavior, and
the desire for instant gratification are three reasons why marriages
fail. All of these behaviors combined with the attitude of “if it does
not work out, we will just go our separate ways” contribute to a high
divorce rate.

What is emotional immaturity? Some people live by
the maxim, “I may grow old, but I refuse to grow up.” This may be
humorous when seen on a T-shirt, but when people take this attitude into
their marriages, they are setting themselves and their relationship up
for misery. This does not mean that you have to be serious all the time;
far from it. It just means that you cannot allow your emotions to rule
you and to affect how you behave toward your spouse.

Self-centered behavior is not the same as taking care of yourself.

You must take care of yourself if you are going to be fully present for
your loved ones. No, being self-centered or selfish is all about the “me
first” attitude. “My needs are more important than yours” is the rally
cry of the self-centered person. A self-centered person tends to
criticize and blame rather than looking at her/his own behavior. A
self-centered person sees nothing wrong with manipulating her spouse to
get her way. A self-centered person thinks nothing of putting his family
in danger by drinking and driving.

What about instant gratification? Since the advent
of fast food, we seem to have become more of an instant gratification
society. “I want it in 30 seconds and I want it hot and tasty and
inexpensive.” For some people, if everything is not perfect and to their
liking, they tend to resort to complaints about their marriage. They
think of their marriage like fast food instead of fine dining. It
becomes a disposable commodity instead of something to be treasured and
enjoyed.

Marriage requires maintenance to make it successful. It will require
extra work if you are engaging in these damaging behaviors. The good
news is that you, too, can create a happier marriage if you are willing
to begin with yourself. Are you willing to put in the time and energy to
help your marriage become a strong one? If so, you can do it. You do
not have to do it alone; relationship coaching can help.